They say patience is a virtue; that it is good to have patience and be patient. But how much patience is too much? How long can you let people get away with stuff because of this excuse or that excuse? How long can a person wait without interfering while events are in other people’s hands?
When do you know when is the right time to step forward and take things into your control? Is there ever a right time or are all times bad and you just have to jump in and make the time? Why is it so hard to wait patiently and so hard to butt your head through the wall?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
The Twilight Phase
I was driving to work the other day and I thought of the perfect title for a blogging website. But for the life of me, I can’t remember it now. It is surprising how much we know and forget in that twilight phase when we are not fully awake.
Many times I have woken from a dream with every detail vivid in my brain. Then not an hour later, I can barely remember the overarching theme of what the dream was about.
Why is it that dreams are so elusive? They are like a butterfly that is real while we sleep, but as we wake, the butterfly fades into the background. If we reach out and try to catch it, our hands pass right through it, unable to grasp it in the realm of the waking.
Why then, if the details of dreams are so easily forgotten during that twilight phase are we able to go to sleep the next night and have a dream that that we know is the continuation of the one from the previous night?
Conscious thoughts during the twilight phase, like my blog title, also disappear into its depths. Is the twilight phase merely a series of thoughts from our sleepy brain that are quickly forgotten because they are like background music and without significance? What then about my blog idea or those dreams you wake up from and want to relive forever? An hour later, even those details are gone.
Is your mind storing memories in a different part of your brain when you are in this twilight phase; like a hard drive that is only accessible during the night or while sleeping? Do the sleeping parts of our brains know the secrets that our waking brains cannot grasp? When I thought of that blog title, I wasn’t trying to think of one, I was just pondering in general and it came to me- you know suchandsuch would be a great title for a blog!
If our conscious mind could remember all of the things we’ve forgotten during the twilight phases of sleep, I wonder what we would learn.
Many times I have woken from a dream with every detail vivid in my brain. Then not an hour later, I can barely remember the overarching theme of what the dream was about.
Why is it that dreams are so elusive? They are like a butterfly that is real while we sleep, but as we wake, the butterfly fades into the background. If we reach out and try to catch it, our hands pass right through it, unable to grasp it in the realm of the waking.
Why then, if the details of dreams are so easily forgotten during that twilight phase are we able to go to sleep the next night and have a dream that that we know is the continuation of the one from the previous night?
Conscious thoughts during the twilight phase, like my blog title, also disappear into its depths. Is the twilight phase merely a series of thoughts from our sleepy brain that are quickly forgotten because they are like background music and without significance? What then about my blog idea or those dreams you wake up from and want to relive forever? An hour later, even those details are gone.
Is your mind storing memories in a different part of your brain when you are in this twilight phase; like a hard drive that is only accessible during the night or while sleeping? Do the sleeping parts of our brains know the secrets that our waking brains cannot grasp? When I thought of that blog title, I wasn’t trying to think of one, I was just pondering in general and it came to me- you know suchandsuch would be a great title for a blog!
If our conscious mind could remember all of the things we’ve forgotten during the twilight phases of sleep, I wonder what we would learn.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Babbling About Branching Paths
A friend once told me that life is like a movie. Everyone’s life is made up of multiple movies that are constantly playing. Depending on the decisions a person makes, sometimes they walk from one movie reel to another. Everyone has their own movie reels, and sometimes the movie reels overlap with other people for a time before the people move on. The same principle has also been explained with paths or roads countless times. Personally, I like the concept of movies reel, but it is harder to relate to other people than the age-old tradition of roads being the paths in life.
Recently, I feel like everywhere I turn, a new branch appears in the road I am walking down in life, and someone I know walks away from me on that new path. Life can feel like it is standing still sometimes, but when everyone you know is making major life-changing decisions, it makes a person stop to wonder. Are you the one standing still?
When I peer closer at the roads my friends have taken recently, I see a lot of people struggling for hope. Hope in jobs, in relationships, and in life. This past year, at least seven people have told me they want to quit what they are currently doing to work in a different field or pursue a different career.
One of the most shocking discoveries was from an old friend who moved away at the end of college. He has been planning to go into the art field for years. Suddenly, he is no longer interested in art. Money is more important now, apparently. He can do art on the side, he says. How can something that is a dream for years and years become a side-project in just a couple of year’s time? How can something that was worked so hard towards be abandoned like that? Then I think of my neglected writing.
My childhood dream was to become a “real writer”, but I haven’t written anything significant since high school. Over the past year, I have done more towards my writing dream than I have in a very long time. Most of that involved attending conferences and networking, but it’s significantly more than I did in the past. Now comes the most crucial step- for me to sit down and write again on a more regular basis. To help with this, I signed up for NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/).
Yes, I know I’m crazy. Who knows if I’ll even finish a chapter in this writing escapade? But at least I am trying to not let my dream slip away; trying not to be one of those who settles for what life hands down. Settling never equates to contentment. The sweetest joys in life also tend to be the hardest to grasp and the most work to achieve. At least I’m trying.
Most of the people I know, are taking up the torch again to walk down a new path towards their dreams. While I am happy for them pursuing their dreams, it also makes me sad because I wonder if their paths will branch in a direction that will ever cross my path again…?
Recently, I feel like everywhere I turn, a new branch appears in the road I am walking down in life, and someone I know walks away from me on that new path. Life can feel like it is standing still sometimes, but when everyone you know is making major life-changing decisions, it makes a person stop to wonder. Are you the one standing still?
When I peer closer at the roads my friends have taken recently, I see a lot of people struggling for hope. Hope in jobs, in relationships, and in life. This past year, at least seven people have told me they want to quit what they are currently doing to work in a different field or pursue a different career.
One of the most shocking discoveries was from an old friend who moved away at the end of college. He has been planning to go into the art field for years. Suddenly, he is no longer interested in art. Money is more important now, apparently. He can do art on the side, he says. How can something that is a dream for years and years become a side-project in just a couple of year’s time? How can something that was worked so hard towards be abandoned like that? Then I think of my neglected writing.
My childhood dream was to become a “real writer”, but I haven’t written anything significant since high school. Over the past year, I have done more towards my writing dream than I have in a very long time. Most of that involved attending conferences and networking, but it’s significantly more than I did in the past. Now comes the most crucial step- for me to sit down and write again on a more regular basis. To help with this, I signed up for NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/).
Yes, I know I’m crazy. Who knows if I’ll even finish a chapter in this writing escapade? But at least I am trying to not let my dream slip away; trying not to be one of those who settles for what life hands down. Settling never equates to contentment. The sweetest joys in life also tend to be the hardest to grasp and the most work to achieve. At least I’m trying.
Most of the people I know, are taking up the torch again to walk down a new path towards their dreams. While I am happy for them pursuing their dreams, it also makes me sad because I wonder if their paths will branch in a direction that will ever cross my path again…?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
The Struggle for Control
October 3, 2006
In today’s society there seems to be a constant struggle for control. Everyone wants to be in control, but no one wants to take the responsibilities that come with being in control. Then ultimately no one is in control because no one will take any of the responsibilities associated with being in power. This problem is most prevalent in the business setting; especially when it comes to middle management.
For example, take the typical workplace. One of the little worker bees (me) has a project. Yet I cannot do my project without getting approval from 3-4 Queen Bees in departments associated with the project. The first person has one opinion. The second person has a different opinion, and the third person wants the project changed completely, and so on. You’re lucky if they decide upon something (IF being the operative word), and if they do decide upon something, it is never long before they change their minds again and again and again.
Everyone claims they want to be in control of how things work, but no one will step up and organize everyone. No one is willing to take responsibility for making the decisions and making everyone stick with the decisions. This leads to inefficiency, duplication of work, disgruntled workers, disorganization, and projects that are never finished because no final decision can ever be decided upon.
In their battle to be in power, do they not realize that they are creating more chaos than order? Do they not understand that to create order there must be one final decision on things and once the final decision has been made, it is not lightly ignored and revised? Do they not see that a Queen Bee is not really the Queen if there are hundreds of other bees with the same authority in the same hive; especially if they all each do their own thing and don’t mediate with or organize each other?
Ultimately in the struggle for control, many of the little worker bees have delusions of grandeur, but none of them will ever be in control as long as none of them ever steps up to carry the burdens that go along with being in control.
In today’s society there seems to be a constant struggle for control. Everyone wants to be in control, but no one wants to take the responsibilities that come with being in control. Then ultimately no one is in control because no one will take any of the responsibilities associated with being in power. This problem is most prevalent in the business setting; especially when it comes to middle management.
For example, take the typical workplace. One of the little worker bees (me) has a project. Yet I cannot do my project without getting approval from 3-4 Queen Bees in departments associated with the project. The first person has one opinion. The second person has a different opinion, and the third person wants the project changed completely, and so on. You’re lucky if they decide upon something (IF being the operative word), and if they do decide upon something, it is never long before they change their minds again and again and again.
Everyone claims they want to be in control of how things work, but no one will step up and organize everyone. No one is willing to take responsibility for making the decisions and making everyone stick with the decisions. This leads to inefficiency, duplication of work, disgruntled workers, disorganization, and projects that are never finished because no final decision can ever be decided upon.
In their battle to be in power, do they not realize that they are creating more chaos than order? Do they not understand that to create order there must be one final decision on things and once the final decision has been made, it is not lightly ignored and revised? Do they not see that a Queen Bee is not really the Queen if there are hundreds of other bees with the same authority in the same hive; especially if they all each do their own thing and don’t mediate with or organize each other?
Ultimately in the struggle for control, many of the little worker bees have delusions of grandeur, but none of them will ever be in control as long as none of them ever steps up to carry the burdens that go along with being in control.
Monday, October 02, 2006
What Women Want [Part1]
October 2, 2006
Friday at work, a major bureaucratic decision was made without regard for what’s right and wrong. I fumed about it all day and was still burning with anger over it when I got home from work. Like anyone carrying around the weight of anger, I needed to vent. So I did. However, instead of getting relief through the release of anger, I became angrier. Both of the people I talked to did not understand the principle of venting (even though I have explained it to both) and they immediately tried to tell me what I should and should not do regarding the situation. Bad move. That is not what a woman wants when she needs to vent.
For all of you guys out there, here is a little secret about women; when women want to vent, they need to vent. They are not looking for excuses or explanations or advice or to be told what they should do. Instead, they are simply looking for someone who will listen to them while they release the weight they have been carrying around (or at least pretend to listen to them well enough that it seems like you guys are actually listening).
The whole point of venting is to vent, and a woman does not want your advice while she is venting. Do not interrupt her to criticize what she is criticizing or to tell her what she should do about it. She already has a good idea of what her options are. She already knows things are crappy. She just needs to release her emotions so she can move forward without most of the anger regarding it.
It seems to be a natural instinct for guys to try to tell a woman what she needs to do to fix a problem if she tries to vent. But beware. When a woman is venting, that is the LAST thing she wants to hear. If a woman wants your advice, she will ask for it. Otherwise, it is simply a discerning ear. When guys learn that, they are a step closer to learning how to understand a woman.
Friday at work, a major bureaucratic decision was made without regard for what’s right and wrong. I fumed about it all day and was still burning with anger over it when I got home from work. Like anyone carrying around the weight of anger, I needed to vent. So I did. However, instead of getting relief through the release of anger, I became angrier. Both of the people I talked to did not understand the principle of venting (even though I have explained it to both) and they immediately tried to tell me what I should and should not do regarding the situation. Bad move. That is not what a woman wants when she needs to vent.
For all of you guys out there, here is a little secret about women; when women want to vent, they need to vent. They are not looking for excuses or explanations or advice or to be told what they should do. Instead, they are simply looking for someone who will listen to them while they release the weight they have been carrying around (or at least pretend to listen to them well enough that it seems like you guys are actually listening).
The whole point of venting is to vent, and a woman does not want your advice while she is venting. Do not interrupt her to criticize what she is criticizing or to tell her what she should do about it. She already has a good idea of what her options are. She already knows things are crappy. She just needs to release her emotions so she can move forward without most of the anger regarding it.
It seems to be a natural instinct for guys to try to tell a woman what she needs to do to fix a problem if she tries to vent. But beware. When a woman is venting, that is the LAST thing she wants to hear. If a woman wants your advice, she will ask for it. Otherwise, it is simply a discerning ear. When guys learn that, they are a step closer to learning how to understand a woman.
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